Ask Autistic Advocates is an interview series that celebrates autism and how it enhances our lives.
Each week, a new interviewee gives readers a glimpse into what makes them, them, and how autism has helped shaped their lives. Today we’re getting to know Autistic Flair‘s founder, Katie Forbes.
business oTell us a bit about yourself
My name is Katie, I and live in the north-east of Scotland.
I am many things: a loving wife, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, and friend; an entrepenuer running two businesses; triathlon dabbler and adventure-seeker; avid-reader and podcast-addict; and I am autistic.
For many years, I hid my neurodiversity from others out of fear that I’d be overshadowed by the stigma surrounding autism and other learning difficulties. Now I know it’s just one wonderful part of me – and I’m passionate about helping others realise this.
When and why did you start actively advocating?
In the world portrayed by the media, only able-bodied, neurotypical men and women are capable of success and happiness.⠀
On TV and film, autistic people—or should I say, men and boys—are relegated to supporting roles and are often textbook examples, as opposed to complex, distinct characters – that is unless they display exceptional intellectual ability.⠀
The characters are almost always socially awkward or non-speaking in need of 24-hour care, seemingly incapable of holding down a job, forming lasting relationships or leading a fulfilling life. ⠀
The media have failed to truly represent the spectrum of autism and has led to stigma and limited resources to help autistic people unleash their full potential. Believe me – I’ve been there!
Upon my diagnosis at the age of 11, a doctor warned my parents I’d never live independently or be able to hold down a full-time job; teachers advised them to give up hopes of higher education. Yet, here I am today: a founder, homeowner and wife.
My journey to independent living was not linear. There were successes and there were failures; many missed opportunities and rejections; countless sleepless nights and bouts of depression and anxiety – so many of which could have been avoided if the right resources had been readily available. It didn’t have to be this way – and it was this realisation that spurred me on to launch Autistic Flair and start advocating for the autism community.
What do you love most about being autistic?
My determination. Once I have an idea in my head or I’ve been tasked with something, I work tirelessly and give it my all. Sometimes it’s a success, other times only a lesson learned – either is a triumph in my eyes.
I assumed this was a quality everyone had or sought after – I stand corrected after working alongside others during my countless years of education and over a decade in employment.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced and how did you overcome it?
Without a doubt, bullying. Some may only relate bullying to school playgrounds and classrooms, but the thing is, many school bullies grow up to be workplace bullies.
I’ve fallen victim to bullying countless times in my life. Early on, it had a devastating effect on my mental health, as it does with many others.
The day I started becoming resilient to ridicule was the day I realised: people don’t have to like me, and I don’t have to care; I should live the life I want and love the person I am.
It didn’t happen overnight but becoming the person I wanted to be made me fall in love with myself, and in turn overpowered any negatively that was thrown my way.
This positivity towards myself also helped me look beyond how I felt and consider what motivation the bully had. I don’t believe anyone is born wanting to hurt people, it’s pain and desperation that influences bad or cruel behaviour. More hurtful words are not the answer I give bullies, it’s kindness.
What myth would you like to bust?
All autistic people act/look the same… *face palm* This horrific assumption is why too many autistic people are struggling to continue on to higher education and/or find employment.
We are brilliantly unique, with our very own strengths, weaknesses and goals – just like any other human being.⠀
We come from all walks of life and all manner of backgrounds; the autistic community is extremely diverse. ⠀
My biggest wish is that any employer or organisation who interviews us, whether that be for a place at university or a job, treats us like any other candidate – as individuals bringing our own set of specific skills and experiences to the table.
If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
Life isn’t supposed to be easy.
Good experiences you’ll cherish, not-so-good experiences you’ll learn from.
No one is free from struggles, some just hide it better than others.
It’s ok that you haven’t met your people yet, one day your community will find you.
Whatever happens, never give up.
